I’ve had this pumpkin just sitting in my living room forever, and I felt like last night was the perfect time to carve it. Just in time for my favorite holiday!
My carving skills aren’t great, but are a lot better than I thought they’d be. Here’s all the tools I got out to do the deed. And by tools I mean knives. And a spoon to scoop the pumpkin guts out. Man, the pumpkin gut scooping was bitchy, tedious work.
I didn’t even draw any blood, so this was a total success in my book. I mean, a few scratches, sure, but that pretty much happens every time I hold a knife. Want to know how to really scare someone in my house? Just go “Uh oh. I lost a knife… Oh man, maybe two.”
Sure, he may look a little wonky in some parts (his hands are behind his back, and that’s the story I’m sticking to), but c’mon guys. I’m pretty sure the last time I carved a pumpkin was when I was in elementary school.
P.S. Dear Stephan Pastis, I know you’re a lawyer and all, but please don’t consider this copyright infringement. It’s a crappy incarnation, and besides, you really don’t want my assets (for the record, my assets are: Hello Kitty paraphernalia, a few empty bottles of cheap booze, 3 broken pairs of shoes that I keep wearing, a retractable hairdryer, and the rear half of a Corvette [it was a gift]).